


Momentary Losers

by orphan_account



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Bisexual Beverly Marsh, Bisexual Richie Tozier, Established Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Established Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, F/M, Fame, Friends With Benefits, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, M/M, Oblivious Richie Tozier, Slow Burn, charity work, lgbt youth group, mentions of past bullying, the mike and richie ship tag is like, theyre all in their 20s, uber driver eddie kaspbrak
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-08 14:14:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12866238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Richie and his bandmates get back from a tour to meet Stan's boyfriend Bill, and Bill's small and anxious best friend Eddie. From the moment they met, Richie was infatuated, but he was sure Eddie hated his guts. How could he not? Richie was everything Eddie wasn't. Little did Richie know, everyone has a little bit of a "Total Disaster" in them.





	1. The Bitch Song

The crowd was loud as fuck. Richie, Bev, and Mike had finally made it to the last show on their tour. It was in Hollywood, in an arena about an hour from Richie and Stan’s house. The Staples Center was packed, Stan in the front row. He had brought his boyfriend Bill, and Bill’s best friend. Ben had joined them, happily cheering on his friends and his girlfriend.

“I wrote this song a long time ago for my best friend Stan,” Richie looked Stan in the eyes and winked. “He brought his boyfriend here so I just wanna warn him with this song.”

Bev chuckled and leaned into her microphone. “I think Stan’s personality is rather obvious, Rich.”

Mike laughed and they started playing. Richie was happy to play this song in front of his best friend again. He hadn’t been able to sing this song to Stan in months. He performed this song at every show, always reminding everyone that it was about Stan. The best part of this was that Stan was singing along, taking joy in the fact that this song was about him.

 

_You're a bitch but,_

_I love you anyway_

_OH OH You can't sing But,_

_You still put me to sleep Baby,_

_You're a bitch_

_Hey Hey Hey Hey_

_You make me sick But,_

_Don't ever go away_

 

The show ended, and the crowd filed out as the band sat backstage. Richie put his guitar in it’s case, and he put Bev’s bass in it’s case for her. Bev handed Richie a cigarette, sitting on a pristine couch in the green room. Richie sat next to her and lit both their cigarettes. Mike was pouring glasses of champagne. He handed a glass to each of them. “To another great year!” he toasted.

“Cheers,” Bev and Richie said in unison as the three of them clinked their glasses together.

They had been in this band since they were just losers in high school. Henry Bowers called them all different slurs, and they went back to Richie’s garage and let out their anger on the instruments. Richie would sing dirty parodies of popular songs while thrashing on his electric guitar, while Mike banged on the drums and Bev played the bass. Stan would listen to them play while he did his homework.

After a while, they started making their own music. The first song Richie wrote was dirty jokes about fucking someone’s sister, set to hard rock music. They were angry teens and Richie wasn’t one for serious music. Richie’s mind loved to remind him of his first song, how it included the line “your bitch, she’s bouncing on my dick,” and how he was only 15 when he wrote that.

It was 10 years later and they were an official band. They had been since they got a record deal on Richie’s 18th birthday. From that day one, they were The Momentary Losers. Stan was always their biggest fan, always by their side ever since they were just a garage band in Derry with no name. Now they were the biggest rock band in America, living in Hollywood.

Richie was taken out of his thoughts when Stan, Ben, and their new friends entered the room. Stan was holding a skinny man’s hand. This must be Bill, a skinny man in ripped jeans and a plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He was cute and well put together. There was a shorter brunette man wearing a pink polo shirt and short overalls, with a fannypack. Richie smiled at how adorable this stranger was.

Ben sat next to Bev on the couch. He gave her a kiss, and whispered a soft congratulations. Richie smiled at the sight of his friends getting reunited. Richie stood up and looked at Stan. Stan let go of Bill’s hand and gave Richie a tight hug. Richie smiled, lifting Stan as he hugged him. “Missed you Stanthony.”

Stan laughed as Richie let go of him. “God, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss your trashmouth.”

Richie smiled and drank his champagne. “So, wanna introduce me to the nice piece of ass?”

Stan rolled his eyes. “Richie, this is Bill-”

"I meant the tiny one,” Richie teased. The shorter man blushed, and looked at Bill, his jaw dropping. “I could tell which one was Bill considering you were all up on him during the show.”

Stan’s cheeks went pink. He cleared his throat. “This is Eddie, he’s Bill’s friend. He had never heard of you guys so Bill insisted on bringing him.”

“Nice to meet you Eds, I’m Richie Tozier,” Richie pointed to himself as he spoke to the shorter man. He pointed to Bev, “this lovely lady is miss Beverly Marsh,” and then he pointed to Mike. “Last but certainly not least, this handsome angel here is Mike Hanlon.”

Eddie have him a tight smile. “Don’t call me Eds. It’s nice to meet all of you. You’re very talented.”

Richie gave Stan a look. Something in the way Eddie said that seemed like he didn’t want to be there. Richie took a drag from his cigarette and put it out by dropping it in his champagne. He wasn’t a fan of alcohol, only drinking it at the end of a tour. Richie noticed Eddie cringed as Richie blew out the smoke. He placed his glass on a table and turned to his bandmates. “We gotta get our shit cleared off the stage before someone blows a gasket. Bev, you can finish your cigarette, Mike let’s go.”

Mike downed his champagne, hugged Stan, and followed Richie back to the stage. Richie was humming as they worked together to take apart Mike’s drums. Mike started nodding his head along to Richie’s now mumbled singing. It was a routine, every time they finished a show Richie would suggest getting their stuff off stage and then he would cause a big distraction. They stopped what they were doing and before they knew it, they were doing an a capella duet.

Richie had a big smile on his face, grabbing the still plugged in and turned on microphone. He was doing his best Britney Spears impression and singing Baby One More Time. Mike was dancing and singing along. Richie took off his hat and threw it to Mike. Mike caught it and put it on his head. As Richie spun on his heel, Mike stopped singing.

Richie’s face fell and he looked at Mike. The others had finally gotten to the stage. Stan was frowning, used to these antics. Bev was recording them on her phone. Richie was sure this was going to end up online. “Having fun, Rich?” Bill teased.

Richie shrugged. “You interrupted our ritual to summon the princess of pop. Kinda hoping she’d hook us up with Satan,” he smiled, noticing Eddie’s face was pink. He was grabbing onto Bill’s arm. He was visibly nervous.

“Britney is an angel, if you want Satan you should try summoning Katy Perry,” Bev laughed.

Richie made a sound of disgust. “How dare you suggest I talk to that monster.”

“Y’know I met her once,” Mike interrupted, his voice soft. “Snakes started to physically manifest in my house.”

Richie let out a bark of laughter, and they continued what they had started. They took apart Mike’s drum set, putting it in the large case. They got everything that was theirs and packed them in the tour bus. Their driver would take care of getting the drums back to the studio. Mike had his own drum set at his house.

“So,” Richie put his arm around Bill. “Big Bill, you’re rather quiet. Sure Stan appreciates that, but how am I supposed to get to know you?”

“Y-y-you’re doing most of th-the talking for me,” Bill smiled.

Richie raised an eyebrow at the comment. “Oh lookie here, Big Bill get off a good one. Stan, you sure know how to pick ‘em,” he winked. “So, what do you do?”

That question was the best question Richie could have asked him. Bill started explaining that he’s a horror author, and that one of his books is being made into a movie. When Bill said the title of the book, Ben’s face lit up. “I love that book!” he said. Mike said that he had read all of Bill’s books. So that was why Richie thought the title was familiar. Mike and Ben always read the same books, and would discuss them.

While they were on tour, Richie would lay on a chair in the bus, hanging upside down and Mike would read to him. Richie would stop him to make jokes and commentary. Bev was always video chatting with Ben during the reading sessions. Mike would do little voices for each character, per Richie’s request. Richie cherished those moments, Mike smiling and giving him attention, Bev flirting with Ben saying how much she missed him. He always recorded ten seconds worth of those moments and sent them to Stan. Stan would reply with a heart emoji.

Now they were talking in person, and they had new people. They were in the bus, Stan having said that they got there in an Uber. Once they got out of the arena, Eddie was less uncomfortable, but he wasn’t comfortable. Richie couldn’t help but notice the fact that Eddie looked disgusted. He looked disgusted in the arena and he looked disgusted on the bus.

Bev handed Richie another cigarette. He placed it behind his ear and sat on the floor between Stan’s legs. Stan was sitting on the couch next to Bill. Ben sat on Stan’s other side, Bev sitting on his lap. Mike sat on a chair near the table, Eddie sitting across from him. Mike put his feet up on one of the empty chairs. Richie bit his thumb nail, and spit out the piece onto the floor. Eddie cringed. “So, Eds, tell me about yourself.”

Ben, Bev, Stan, and Bill were having their own conversation. Mike was on some social media on his phone. Eddie was just staring at everyone, mostly Richie. When Richie called him that nickname, Eddie rolled his eyes. “Don’t call me that,” he sighed. Richie smiled. “I uh I don’t really know what to say? Aside from the fact that I have no idea what the last time this bus has been cleaned.”

Richie scoffed. “Okay,” he didn’t even know when the bus was last cleaned, but he didn’t really care. “What do you like… do? Besides being adorable?”

Eddie’s cheeks dusted pink. “I’m an Uber driver, but that’s just to pass the time.”

Richie raised his eyebrows. “Pass the time? Do you like not need a job? Sweet I’m getting there.”

Stan gently pat Richie’s head. Richie looked at him and smiled. He then looked at Eddie again. “Getting there? Rich you once smoked a joint with a hundred dollar bill as the paper,” Mike laughed.

Richie laughed, clapping at the comment. “Fuck you’re right I forgot about that. Benjamin Franklin would be proud. The dude was a mad party animal.”

Eddie looked shocked at that information. “It’s illegal to destroy U.S. currency.”

Bev giggled. “That is not the worst thing Richie has ever done.”

“God I’ll probably do even more stuff,” Richie sighed, a wide smile on his face.

“Where are we going?” Eddie asked.

Richie took the cigarette from behind his ear and placed it between his lips. “We’re going to mine and Richie’s place. I hope that’s okay with you, Eddie,” Stan replied. His voice was soft and comforting. “You’ve been there before.”

Richie gave Stan a confused look. “You brought them to our house?”

“Bill has spent several nights in my bed, Richie,” Stan replied, dryly. Bill blushed furiously.

Richie wiggled his eyebrows. “Wow hope he bought you dinner first,” he teased. He noticed a blush forming on Stan’s cheeks and he turned to Bev. “Bevvie Wevvie, Stan the Man is a thot.”

Stan slapped him. “If anyone’s a thot, it’s you.”

Richie shrugged. Stan wasn’t wrong, he had gotten around. He turned his attention back to the smallest man on the bus. “Eddie spaghetti, I hope they didn’t subject you to them getting nasty in the hot tub.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Trust me, if they had I wouldn’t want to come back.”

Richie didn’t know why he bit his lip at the thought of Eddie wanting to be at his house. Eddie wanting to be near him. He blamed the lip bite on just peeling the dead skin off his lip. Richie wasn’t the type to wear chapstick, just biting off the dead skin. He noticed Eddie furrow his brow at the sight of Richie swallowing the dead skin. That was how Richie realized Eddie was watching his every move.

Eddie looked nervous, now glancing at Bill. When they arrived at a homy mansion. The driver flipped Richie off, and hugged Bev and Mike. Richie laughed, telling the driver he loved him, to which the driver replied “yeah, yeah, Rich.”

The driver assured Mike that he would have the bus at the studio that night. Mike thanked him, and the other five other men, and one lady, left the bus. Richie insisted that he had to be the first inside. He said that the house missed him, and that he missed it as well.

He opened the front door, opening his arms wide as he waltzed into the large house. He took a deep breath, smelling the familiar scents of Stan’s cleaning supplies. He put his hands on his hips and turned to the other six adults. He gave them all a wicked grin. “Who’s ready to party Trashmouth Tozier style?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song sang is The Bitch Song by Bowling For Soup


	2. Gettin' Bi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after a great party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you read this chapter and get kinda like "but stan doesn't eat kosher" just know that i havent read the whole book but i saw an excerpt saying that AFTER i wrote a big chunk of this chapter. i would have changed it but it's kinda important to the bond Richie and Stan have in this? plus like this is my au and fic so,,,,

_ The sun is shining, it’s summer. Four teens sitting on the ledge on a cliff. “We’re gonna get out of here as soon as we can, right?” the red headed girl asked. _

_ The boy with the dark skin and soft smile placed his hand on her thigh. They looked each other in the eyes. “Yeah. Yeah, we are.” _

_ “Before we go, I gotta give Stan’s mom a kiss,” Richie added, not quite ruining the moment. Mike put his arm around Richie’s shoulder. _

_ Stan rolled his eyes as Beverly laughed. “How can you kiss her if you already drowned?” Stan smiled at his best friend. _

_ “Stan the man gets off a good one.” _

Richie was being shaken awake and he slowly opened his eyes. He was laying face down on the couch in the living room. It took him a few seconds to realize he was home, and not in a moving vehicle. He looked up at person who woke him up, unsurprised to see a familiar blur. He blinked his eyes, forgetting that he just has terrible vision.

“Wake up dumbass, make me breakfast,” it was Stan. 

Richie smiled. “I come home and the hubby wants me to make him food as soon as I wake up. Cassandra I wanna leave him, but what about the kids?” Richie’s voice was high pitched and he managed a pretty southern drawl, sounding like a housewife from Kentucky. He sat up, rubbing his eyes, and replied to himself in a different version of the same voice, this one a bit lower. “Well I dunno Vicki, I just do what Mark asks me to,” he stretched and yawned.

“I don’t know, I kinda wanna just stab him and end it, Cassie,” Stan did an awful version of the first voice.

Richie laughed, grabbing his glasses off of the coffee table. “God, I’ve missed you,” he stood up.

Stan smiled. “I’ve missed you too, nerd. Now, go make breakfast. Mike left last night with Bev and Ben and I have a hangover.”

Richie smiled, glad that he didn’t drink last night. He did however, do a line of coke with Bill. Ah, bonding with one's best friends’ boyfriend can only go two ways with Richie Tozier. Stan had gotten hammered, kissing Bill sloppily, and crying about how much he missed Bev, Mike, and especially Richie. Richie wouldn’t be surprised if Stan was still a little drunk.

They all had gotten a little high that night, except Eddie, he wouldn’t go near any of the drugs. Richie was the only one that hadn’t touched any alcohol. Eddie, had drank the most, rambling about how nervous he was. He explained how weird it was being around so many people, but he slurred his words as he talked to himself. He laughed at everything anyone else said, and Richie called him adorable.

They had all left, Bill and Eddie taking an Uber. Eddie had laughed about the irony of an Uber driver calling for an Uber. Ben was the most sober out of them all, drinking a little at the beginning of their small gathering, and sobering up enough by the end. He took Mike home with him and Bev.

Now Richie was wearing nothing but his boxers, one sock, and his glasses. He put his hair in a messy bun so he could cook without having a hairy disaster. Stan lifted himself onto the counter, and pulled his phone from his pocket. He turned it on and winced at the brightness, immediately turning it down. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ay, dare I say that this is the effect of alcohol,” Richie smiled as he flipped the vegan bacon. He did a british accent, winking at Stan.

Richie isn't vegan, but Stan is. When with Stan, Richie adheres to veganism to support his best friend. He understood that Stan’s reason for it was that it was the best way for him to respect himself, the world, and his religion. Richie didn't have the same concerns, being raised Catholic but dropping religion for a carefree lifestyle, however he wanted to help Stan in anyway he could. That meant having vegan products in the house, that meant going to vegan kosher restaurants together, and he even went to Stan's bar mitzvah when they were just middle schoolers in Derry, Maine.

Stan glared at him. “Shut the fuck up,” he rolled his eyes. 

Stan usually was the one to cook. Richie wasn’t the best cook, but he wasn’t bad. “Did you take an aspirin?” Richie asked.

Stan noodded. “Yeah and I threw up as soon as I woke up. Darted right into the bathroom, then I woke you up.”

“Aw, such a blessing that you thought of lil ol’ me as you blew chunks,” Richie laughed, licking his lips.

Richie missed this. Having breakfast with Stan after a party. He missed spending time with Stan. Stan was always busy running the lgbt youth center while Richie was gone. He kept himself busy. 

Now, they were eating breakfast and drinking orange juice. Stan was wearing a neon t shirt that Richie had given him a few years back. Along with a pair of Marilyn Monroe sweatpants, Stan was wearing his pajamas. Richie was wearing his pajamas too. Minus the other sock. He usually just slept in his boxers and a pair of socks, half the time kicking either one or both socks off in his sleep. 

“You've been wearing your glasses a lot recently,” Stan said after a long silence.

Richie shrugged. “Easier than putting in my contacts.”

Stan noddded. “Some girls on social media have already photoshopped flower crowns onto pictures of you in your glasses.”

Richie cracked a smile. “Was your mom the first one to start the trend?”

Stan rolled his eyes. This was normal. Richie liked making jokes about Stan's mom. Stan rolled his eyes at these jokes. It didn't matter now that Stan was texting his boyfriend. It didn't matter that Richie was kind of sad that his best friend was splitting his attention. This was normal to them.

“I promised the kids that you would be there today. Do you want me to come?” Stan asked after he finished his food.

“I know I made you breakfast and all that but I don't think Bill  _ or  _ the kids would appreciate me making you come,” Richie winked. 

Stan scoffed. “As if.”

Richie smiled, doing his best Jamie Kennedy impression. “Oh really Alicia? ‘as if’?”

Stan finally laughed. “You're a mess.”

“And you love me.”

When they arrived at the youth center, Richie was wearing his contacts. He also was wearing a button up that looked like a bowling alley carpet, with plaid pants with ripped knees. Stan said that the clashing patterns gave him a headache, but Richie just stuck his tongue out and stuck up his middle finger. 

When they stepped inside, Richie greeted the 18 year old volunteer at the desk. She gave him a big smile. When Stan stopped at the desk, she took a deep breath as a light blush spread across her face. Richie crouched, putting his elbows on the desk. “Y’know Al, you gotta show me how you do your makeup,” he waved his hand in front of his face. “Love the pride colors,” he smiled.

Al smiled. She was wearing a nude lipstick and her eyeshadow in the bi pride colors. The pink and purple were used as a smoky eye base, and she used blue eyeliner. “Takes a lot of practice, I’ll tell you that.”

“I’m sure Bev would also like some tips, right Stan?”

Stan shrugged. “I’m sure that if she saw how talented Al is she would love some tips,” That’s what Richie was looking for. He knew that a compliment from Stan would make the girls day. “Let’s go check on the others and make sure no one is dead,” Stan grabbed Richie’s arms and lifted him up. 

Richie saluted Al as he and Stan walked inside. “Stanthony you can’t lead the poor girl on,” Richie put his arm around Stan’s shoulder.

Stan rolled his eyes. “She’s 18, Richie. I also have a boyfriend, y’know because I’m gay.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you haven’t told her that it’s inappropriate, for all she knows you’re playing hard to get,” Richie pursed his lips and paused for a second. “Maybe that’s why Mike never asked you out.”

Stan sighed. “Richie we all know that Mike never asked me out because he likes you more. May God help him.”

Richie scoffed. “Just because he blows me-”

Stan lightly punched Richie as a group of teenagers ran over to them. Richie immediately recognized all of them. He gave each of them a hug and listened to them as they told him about stuff they or Stan did while he was gone. Zoe showed him some of their art and he couldn’t help but praise the kid. They had such great talent. Richie couldn’t wait to give them their binder on Christmas.

One of the teens took Stan to turn on the radio. As soon as the music started, Richie knew Stan would change the song. “Leave it!” he shouted, then heard Stan groan.

“Rich, this isn’t even one of your good songs!” 

 

_ I'm gettin' bi _

_ Oh yeah, I'm lettin' my bi flag fly _

_ Not gonna hide it, not gonna lie _

_ I'm a bi kinda guy _

_ There’s no reason to be shy _

_ My oh my, it's a fact I can't deny _

_ I'm bi, bi, bi until the day I die _

 

After a few hours of making sure everything was okay at the center, and that it would be ready to be a shelter that night, Richie and Stan picked Mike, Ben, and Bev up for lunch. Mike was vegan, but Bev and Ben weren’t. The couple still agreed to have a vegan meal with them.

When Stan left the table to go to the bathroom, Bev picked her food up with her fork and put it on Richie’s plate. “I don’t like it,” she said quietly. “It’s not real chicken.”

“Then you should have gotten something that didn’t have a meat substitute,” Ben shrugged.

Richie nearly choked on his food. “Ben, I didn’t know you needed a substitute. Bev, why didn’t you tell me? I would happily-”

“Beep beep Richie,” Mike said, with a small smile on his face. He liked the joke, but he at least had enough manners not to laugh at that joke in public.

Bev snorted. “As if you could do any better in bed than Ben.”

“Is that a challenge? Ben, you wanna watch while I fuck your girlfriend?”

Ben coughed, his face going red. Bev let out a loud laugh, clapping her hand on Ben’s back. Mike bit his lip to keep from laughing too loud. Stan approached the table, a small frown on his face. “Did Richie say something about me while I was gone?”

Mike didn’t stop himself from laughing this time. Bev hadn’t stopped laughing, tears were now streaming down her face. Ben rolled his eyes. “No, they’re laughing at me.”

Stan gave a small nod. “Gotta watch what you say around him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song used here is Getting Bi from the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend soundtrack (i dont watch the show i just know the song bc i am,,,, g-g-g-gettin bi)


	3. Casual Affair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie has some issues he needs to sort out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for drug use, mentions of underage sex (its natural for teenagers to do things at that age, and its not explicit don't worry), a down day in depression, and adults had sex (again not explicit)

Richie was laying on the living room floor facetiming Mike. He smiled at the sight of Mike petting the puppy that slept on his chest. “I can’t make it,” Mike gave a pout and Richie’s smile fell. “I got that charity event.”

Richie groaned. “I don’t wanna third wheel Stan and Bill,” he sat up. “Can’t you save animals the next day?”

Mike rolled his eyes. “You’ll have Bev,” he licked his lips.

“She and Ben have date night that night,” Richie ran his hand through his hair. 

Mike pursed his lips, thinking. “Ask Eddie if he’ll go,” he suggested.

Richie hadn’t thought of asking the smaller man. He didn’t know how he felt about Eddie, other than thinking he was cute. He wondered if Eddie would even agree. He sighed and scratched his head. He said goodbye to Mike and hung up. He immediately regretted hanging up, missing the comfort of seeing his friend and the small animal. 

He bit his lip as he opened Eddie’s contact information. The contact photo he used of the smaller man was a four panel comic of a man dressed as a flower asking to be pissed on. He snorted, mumbling to himself and he pressed the call button. “And just let him fucking die?” he laughed as he waited for Eddie to pick up.

“Richie?” Eddie asked.

Richie smiled. “Hey, Eds,” he bit his lip to stop laughing.

Eddie sighed. “Don’t call me that,” he stated. “Why did you call me?”

Richie furrowed his brow. “Well I won’t tell you if you ask in that tone, Spaghetti Man.”

Richie could hear anger bubbling in the way Eddie breathed. Richie wondered if the man took the teasing the same way Stan did or if the anger was real. “Is there a specific reason you called me? I was in the middle of making lunch.”

Richie could hear the sound of Amy Winehouse playing from Eddie’s speaker. “Me and Stan were invited to do a video with some website and we can bring a plus one each. Stan is taking Bill, I was wondering if you wanted to come with?”

He heard Eddie’s breath hitch. Before Eddie could answer there was a clatter and Eddie hissed. “Shit,” he whispered.

“Everything good?” Richie asked.

“Yeah I just dropped a knife on my foot-”

“Do you need to see a doctor?” Richie quickly asked.

Eddie took a deep breath. “No, it was the handle of a butter knife. I just have to clean it up.”

Richie was relieved to hear that Eddie was okay. “So you gonna do the porno or no?” he decided to lighten the mood.

He heard Eddie guffaw. “What?!” he exclaimed.

“The internet would go wild, I mean my nudes somehow haven’t leaked,” Richie shrugged. 

“Richie, no-”

Richie saw Stan walking down the stairs. “Calm down, Eds, it was a joke. Stan would never agree to fucking me on camera,” Richie smirked as he interrupted Eddie.

“I wouldn’t want to catch anything,” Stan projected his voice, enough so Eddie could hear him.

“Richie what is this actually about? Don’t you dare say it’s a porno,” Richie could hear Eddie licking something off of his fingers.

He glanced at Stan. “It is a video, that wasn’t a joke. It’s just an interview thing with a fan that runs a website. She knows who Stan is because she’s been to almost every show. Bev and Mike can’t make it,” Richie grabbed Stan’s hand when the other man sat on the couch. 

“I guess, I can drive if you guys want,” Eddie replied.

After discussing the details, Richie hung up. He was still holding Stan’s hand and sitting on the floor. He placed his phone in his pocket and stood up, grabbing Stan’s other hand. He pulled Stan off the couch, now they were standing. Richie wiggled his body a bit and Stan gave him a blank stare. Richie smiled wide. “We got a ride to the interview.”

“Okay…”

Richie stopped moving. He frowned at Stan. “Is today a bad day?” When Stan sat on the couch again, not letting go of Richie’s hands, Richie didn’t need an answer. Richie looked down at Stan, squeezing his hands. He smiled again. “You don’t know the last time I washed my hands.”

Stan attempted to escape Richie’s grasp, but couldn’t. “God, you’re disgusting, stop I can see the dirt under your fingernails.”

Due to his bad mood, Stan invited Bill over to cuddle and watch a movie. Richie scoffed and said that he could have done that. Since Mike was leaving for a charity event in New York the next afternoon, Richie had suggested he join them. He didn’t say that it was also because he didn’t want to be a third wheel, but everyone knew that was also a reason.

Surprisingly, Mike and Bill arrived at the same time. When Richie opened the door, Bill was laughing at something Mike said. “I reckon you fellas are getting along good,” Richie did a terrible southern accent and Mike rolled his eyes. 

Richie stepped aside, letting them inside. Mike was holding a plastic bag, Richie reached for it and Mike swatted his hand. “This is for Stan,” he informed.

Stan walked into the living room wearing his pajamas. “Mike,” he smiled, hugging the man in question. Mike patted Stan’s back, smiling, his eyes meeting Richie’s. They separated, and Mike handed the bag to Stan. “Thank you,” Stan said quietly. He opened the bag and looked inside. He then, looked at Mike. Richie couldn’t see his expression but he saw the way Mike seemed to brighten up. Richie caught the way Bill’s face kind of fell. “Mike, you didn’t have to do this,” Stan whispered, affection dripping from his voice like melted ice cream.

Mike blushed lightly and rubbed the back of his neck. “You know that I do this every time you get like this,” Mike smiled.

Richie realised what was in the bag instantly. “Mike’s special homemade vegan yogurt,” he nodded. “Micycle, you better give me the special non-vegan yogurt later,” he winked.

Mike scoffed. “Rich, you’re disgusting,” Richie laughed.

Stan walked over to his boyfriend, and Bill finally smiled. They hugged and kissed, and Richie rolled his eyes. He sat on the couch, Mike sitting next to him. Stan closed the front door and then grabbed Bill’s hand. He brought him to the couch. Bill sat next to the arm, giving Stan room between him and Mike. Stan kissed his knuckles and left the room to get a spoon.

Richie mockingly grabbed Mike’s hand and kissed his knuckles. “Oh, Billy boy I sure do love you’re hands,” he loudly said, in a horrible Stan impression.

Mike rolled his eyes and Bill looked at Richie as if the man had challenged him. “Kissing knuckles a-aren’t the only things my ha-hands are good for,” he smirked.

Richie laughed. “Ooo, Bill Denbrough gets off a good one!” Richie leaned into the couch, putting his feet on the coffee table. 

Stan walked back into the room. “I don’t even want to know what was said when I was gone,” he said as he sat on the couch in a way that Richie called ‘criss cross applesauce’. Stan opened the tupperware container and looked at Richie. “Can you turn on a movie or a TV show? At this point I don’t care.”

Richie nodded and used the PlayStation to open Hulu. “What genre?” he asked.

Stan shrugged. “Comedy I guess… as long as I don’t wish I could be as happy as them,” Richie smirked. He quickly put on an episode of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. Stan groaned. “Richie you know I hate this show.”

Richie put the controller on the floor. “Shut up, just watch the episode.”

Stan reluctantly watched the episode, eating the yogurt with a frown on his face. He leaned back into the couch, tilting his head toward Mike. Bill bit his lip and took a deep breath. Richie was watching them, just trying to see how Stan was. He just wanted to see how Stan would react to the episode he chose. 

When Dennis opened the crate with the rocket launcher inside, Stan was leaning against Mike with his legs in Bill’s lap. Richie was bearing the weight of both Mike and Stan, Mike leaning on his shoulder. Mike had fallen asleep 10 minutes into the episode. Richie didn’t understand how the man could nap during the shown known for the characters screaming at each other. Richie noticed that Stan offered Bill some of his yogurt. Bill declined, saying it was for Stan. Stan rolled his eyes and said that he wanted Bill to try it. Bill complied and basically moaned at the taste. Stan smiled, “what do you think?” he asked.

Bill licked his lips. “That was d-delicious.”

“Stan, I think he might want to have some time alone with the yogurt,” Richie said, keeping his voice at a level to not wake Mike up.

“Rich, you don’t have to whisper,” Mike said, shocking Richie. Stan let out a bark of laughter, at Richie’s expression. 

Richie put on 50 First Dates, with no protest. He almost wanted to turn the movie off to spite their lack of reaction to Adam Sandler. “Can’t believe you’re letting me do this.”

Mike placed his hand high up Richie’s thigh. “I love Drew Barrymore,” he said, his voice quiet enough so only Richie could hear.

Richie adjusted his sitting position, knowing that his face was bright red. He handed the controller to Stan. “Have fun,” he said quickly.

Mike got up, Stan moving to lean on Bill. Bill looked more satisfied than he had the whole time he was there. Richie quickly got up, darting upstairs. He heard Mike’s footsteps, and connected his phone to the speakers on his dresser. When Mike closed the door, the playlist started. Mike crashed his lips against Richie’s, pulling him close.

When Richie took off the black bowling shirt with neon flames, Mike pulled their lips apart. “Really? Panic is on your sex playlist?” he smirked, pulling off his shirt.

Richie unbuttoned his matching jeans. “Can you blame me? Brendon’s voice is bound to give anyone a hard on.”

 

_ Stay for as long as you have time _

_ So the mess that we'll become _

_ Leaves something to talk about _

 

Richie woke up to the sight of Mike Hanlon putting one of the only not tacky shirts that Richie owned. He couldn’t tell what he was looking at due to the lack of contacts or glasses. Mike handed him his glasses, and smiled. Richie put his glasses on and smiled at the sight of Mike wearing his Aerosmith shirt. “Good morning,” he said. 

“We need to talk,” Mike said quietly, his smile not falling. It didn’t reach his eyes, though.

Richie sat up, stretching his tattoo covered arms and yawning. “You don’t want me to ride your Micycle?” he didn’t know why his stomach was turning. He chose to believe it was the lack of wake up coke.

Mike sat on Richie’s bed, no longer looking at him. “Yeah, Richie,” he paused. “I think we should stop this.”

Richie nodded. “I have something to tell you.”

Mike finally looked at him. “Please don’t hate me,” he said quietly.

Richie shook his head. “I could never hate you, you’re Mike fucking Hanlon. Homeschool, Micycle, Mikey, Mike and Ike,” he ran out of nicknames, licking his lips. “Do you remember that night?”

_ They were sixteen, the last two at the quarry after a summer day in the sun. They were in the bed of Mike’s truck, both wrapped in their towels. “You talk a big game, Trashmouth,” Mike began. “Have you ever actually…?” his voice was quieter this time. _

_ Richie pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, of course, dude.” _

_ Mike looked at him, hesitant. “I trust you… I’m still a virgin…” _

“Yeah?” Mike replied, furrowing his brows.

Richie looked down. “I lied. You were actually my first time.”

_ Richie knocked on Stan’s window. Stan opened the window, wiping his eyes. He was wearing polka dot pajamas. “What?” his voice was raspy with sleep. _

_ “Stan, I have to tell him it was my first time. How do I tell him?” Richie wasn’t thinking. He couldn’t think since Mike kissed him.  _

_ Stan squinted at him, then looked at the clock on his dresser. “It’s 3 AM, I have no idea who you’re talking about.” _

“Why did you lie?” Mike asked, standing up. “I mean yeah i kinda assumed you did lie, but why are you telling me now and not then?”

“Mike it’s been almost ten years. I was a dumb kid and I actually don’t know why I didn’t tell you. I wanted to, I just didn’t know how you would react,” Richie was babbling. He got out of his bed, thankful he had the decency to put his boxers on last night. He extended his hand.

Mike took a step back and Richie wanted to cry. “Don’t touch me, I can’t believe it took you almost a decade to tell me you lied to me about  _ that _ on that night.”

“I didn’t want to lose your trust-”

“Then you should have told me!”

“Micycle-”

“No, Richie! We can’t keep screwing each other, especially now.”

Richie took a deep breath, pushing his hair out of his face. “I get that! Just please tell me why you want to stop, so I don’t feel like a complete ass.”

“I just can’t keep doing this. The way we act every morning after. I don’t want to have to pretend I don’t hear you snort a line in the bathroom when you wake up. I don’t want to think that me having feelings for someone will ruin our friendship. I just don’t think us having sex is good for out friendship. The band went on a no tour hiatus two years ago because we didn’t know if it was awkward to do normal friend stuff because we agreed to no romance. I don’t want to lose you and this sex stuff has caused both of us to not go after people we wanted something serious with. I want to be at least somewhat normal,” Mike’s voice broke on the last sentence.

“Fine. Then go. Go to your fucking charity and take pretty girls on dates and fuck them. I’ll do the same fucking thing,” Richie didn’t know why he was lashing out. He just knew he needed coke to be able to deal with this. 

Mike rolled his eyes. “Goodbye Richie. Get high and burn some pancakes.”

Richie slammed the bathroom door at the same time that Mike slammed the bedroom door. Richie dumped a bit of the familiar white powder on the counter. He used the small razor he kept in the drawer to cut the powder into a line. He grabbed the straw and was finally able to breathe when he inhaled. He rubbed his nose, ignoring the drop of red on his hand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song used was casual affair by panic! at the disco

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is @theliteraltrash


End file.
